December 2009
36 posts
Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Author
J.D. Salinger
Kids who don’t fit in (duh).
Stephenie Meyer
People who type like this: OMG. Mah fAvvv <3 <3.
J.K. Rowling
Smart geeks.
Jeffrey Eugenides
Girls who didn’t get enough drama when they were younger.
Lauren Weisberger
Girls who can’t read. Or think.
Jonathan Safran Foer
30somethings who were cool when they were 20something.
Jodi Picoult
Your mom when she’s at her time of the month.
Chuck Klosterman
Boys who don’t read.
Chuck Palahniuk
Boys who can’t read.
Ayn Rand
Workaholics seeking validation.
Jane Austen
Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.
Haruki Murakami
People who like good music.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
People who can start a fire.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
People who used to sleep so heavy that they would pee their pants.
Charles Dickens
Ninth graders who think they’re going to be authors someday but end up in marketing.
William Shakespeare
People who like bondage. Sob stories.
Mark Twain
Liars.
Anne Rice
People who don’t use conditioner in their hair.
Edgar Allan Poe
Men who live in their mother’s basements. Or goth seventh graders.
John Grisham
Doctors who went to medical schools in the Dominican Republic.
Emily Giffin
Women who give their boyfriend marriage ultimatums.
Richard Russo
People whose favorite day in elementary school was “Grandparent’s Day”.
Anais Nin
Librarians.
Margaret Atwood
Women whose favorite color is hunter green.
Jackie Collins
Your drunk stepmother.
Nicholas Sparks
Women who are usually constipated.
Sylvia Plath
Girls who keep journals (too easy).
George Orwell
Conspiracy theorists (too easy).
Aldous Huxley
People who are bigger conspiracy theorists than Orwell fans.
Harper Lee
People who have read only one book in their life and it was To Kill A Mockingbird (and it was their assigned reading in the ninth grade).
Nick Hornby
Guys who wear skinny jeans and the girls that love them.
Ernest Hemingway
Men who own cottages.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
People who get adjustable-rate mortgages.
Vladimir Nabokov
Men who use words like ‘dubious’ and ‘tenacity’.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Hates the world
Bret Easton Ellis
Foo Fighters’ fans.
Hunter S Thompson
That kid in your philosophy class with the stupid tattoo.
Thomas Aquinas
Premature ejaculators.
Thomas Pynchon
People who used to be fans of J.D. Salinger.
Stephen King
11th graders who peed their pants while watching the movie It.
Lewis Carroll
People who move to Thailand after high school for the drug scene.
C.S. Lewis
Youth group leaders who picked their nose in the 4th grade.
Shel Silverstein
Girls who can’t spell “leheim”.
Tom Clancy
People who skipped school by hiding out in the gym.
Herman Hesse
People who own one straw chair in their house.
Susan Wiggs
Older women who are surprisingly loud during sex.
Nicole Krauss
Girls who intern at Nylon but end up moving back to the Midwest for their real job.
Mitch Albom
People who didn’t go to college but do well on crossword puzzles.
Virginia Woolf
Female high-school French teachers who have their master’s degree.
Richard Dawkins
People who have their significant other grab them under the table in order to shut them up whenever someone else at a dinner says something absolutely ridiculous and wrong.
Multiplication Palindromes
proofmathisbeautiful:lickystickypickyme:
12 × 42 = 24 × 21
12 × 63 = 36 × 21
12 × 84 = 48 × 21
13 × 62 = 26 × 31
23 × 96 = 69 × 32
24 × 63 = 36 × 42
24 × 84 = 48 × 42
26 × 93 = 39 × 62
36 × 84 = 48 × 63
46 × 96 = 69 × 64
14 × 82 = 28 × 41
23 × 64 = 46 × 32
34 × 86 = 68 × 43
13 × 93 = 39 × 31i palindrome i
Play
[Mahler] Symphonies
- Symphony No. 1, “Titanic,” for orchestra with contrabass obbligato and Klezmer Band, a bagel and some lox. Oh, and a pickle maybe.
- Symphony No. 2, “Reanimation,” for orchestra, choir, 3–5 adjacent churches, really big organ, undead vocal soloists, trumpetist who shows up late for the gig and has to play off-stage and two woolly mammoths flanking the stage.
- Symphony No. 3, “Who Let the Horns Out,” for orchestra, unchained trombone soloist, boy band choir, “ding-dong” chorus, typewriter and stenographer, 4 Austrian mountains in surround, and whoever has two hours to spare.
- Symphony No. 4, “Sleigh Ride,” for orchestra, out-of-tune violin, and sugar-high soprano doubling religious gourmet chef.
- Symphony No. 5, “Has More Than Just the Slow Movement,” for trumpet, French horn, hearse, harp and back-up band.
- Symphony No. 6, “Angsty,” for orchestra, cowbell, and OMFG scary hammer. Order of the movements may change without notice.
- Symphony No. 7, “Goodnight, Moon,” for mandolin, guitar, long thin metallic hanging tubes, barbershop quartet and orchestra.
- Symphony No. 8, “Symphony of 6.0221415×1023,” for the entire population of Western Europe, the New Zealand National Aboriginal rugby team plus full orchestra.
- Symphony No. 8.5, for orchestra, penguins and solo banjo.
- Symphony No. 8.7, “Procrastination,” for orchestra.
- Symphony No.
, “I Don’t Wanna Die!”, for very paranoid composer and orchestra.
- Symphony No.
, “Oops”, for orchestra, composer who never did primary School maths, King_N00bert, Bongo Drums, Russian Goldfish, and Green Day.
- Das Lied der Erde, a.k.a. The Lying Earth, for dead Chinese poets, drunken tenor, lonely contralto, and sheepish orchestra.
- Symphony No. 9, “Inevitable,” for orchestra, with a nice harp part and apologetic love notes to, and written by, Alma (to be read privately by the conductor but not played).
- Symphony No. 10, “Unfinis…” (also known as “Not Number Ten”) of which only the first movement is played.[1] Completion by Alma Mahler in Gustav’s handwriting; official completion by a ragtag team of forensic musicologists lead by Detective Deryck Cooke (new season this fall on NBC, replacing ER)
[via]
lololollololloldyingdyingdying
this is amazing.
“Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficity disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it’s a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it’s a way of making contact with someone else’s imagination after a day that’s all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss. ”
—Nora Ephron (via bookscakesnkisses) (via booklover)
I have played over the music of that scoundrel Brahms. What a giftless bastard!
- Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, 1886
This will never stop being COMPLETELY hilarious to me.
